“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦.” 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯 𝟾:𝟹𝟷𝘣-𝟹𝟸
I was in the Smoky mountains this week with my family. We went to visit some dear friends, and got to stay in their guest cabin perched on the edge of the Nantahala National Forest in the Blue Ridge Mountains. It was a gift in so many ways. Our friends were telling us that late May and early June are firefly mating season, and that if we walked outside after sunset, we’d see what looked like a silent fireworks show! I was thrilled to do this, and I cannot really explain how beautiful it was. Thousands of fireflies were lighting up the dark. I was in awe. Something about SO much light flashing in the darkness of the night struck me as deeply healing and hopeful. I’ve been on a journey of listening and learning about the history and current state of systemic racism in our country, and my heart has been breaking.
I feel like I was blind to so much of this, but I am now learning to see. It reminds me of being 14 and getting glasses for the first time. My vision was terrible growing up, but I did NOT want glasses, so I asked teachers if I could sit in the front of the classroom, and I tried to squint to see the board and take notes. But at 14, I learned that I had to pass a vision test to get my learner’s permit to drive, and knew immediately that I would fail. I told my mom that I needed to go get glasses, STAT. I’ll never forget wearing them for the first time. I could see the outline of individual bricks on the buildings, and individual leaves on the trees. There were thousands of tiny green waving blades of grass that had before seemed like splotches of color stretching out across the ground. As I have listened to my black friends and to kind and br ave black thought leaders like Latasha Morrison, Derwin L. Gray, and Ibram Kendi, I feel like they have handed me glasses to see and bring into focus the individual lives that have been wounded, broken, and taken because of the systemic racism and white supremacy in our country over the past 400 years. The brokenness is heartbreaking to see, and the painful truth of all the wounds I have unknowingly been a part of perpetuating is beginning to be crystal clear to me. The truth is difficult to face sometimes. I have been grieving and repenting for a lack of intention and love toward my black and brown brothers and sisters, and this journey has and will continue to be a hard one, but it is worth it, AND… I’m beginning to taste some of the freedom that Jesus mentions here in John 8.
As I’ve been on this journey, I’m seeing that the gospel is actually wider, higher, deeper, bigger, more colorful, and more beautiful than I have ever been able to understand. My imagination within this very white privileged world I’ve grown up in has been so limited, and I’m seeing Jesus give me a broader vision of how He wants us to love ALL of our neighbors well. Acknowledging the dark history of racism in our country is SO hard, but it is SO important, and while I feel a little bit like a toddler stumbling around in the dark in terms of recognizing, repenting, and learning how I can be any part of restoring what has been broken from hundreds of years of racism in our country, I see hope. I will hold onto it. I am understanding, once again, that Jesus loves us too much to leave us as we are. His word has been convicting me and changing me for a long time now, and this is no different. I’m forever grateful, and I will continue to be about shining His light into the darkness. I won’t be called off when people say that loving your neighbor as yourself is a Communist idea. It’s not. It’s who Jesus was and it’s who He wants us to be, and as I see the church begin to lean into this truth, especially as it relates to our part in perpetuating the racism in this country, I see the light of Christ shining in all this darkness. We shall know the truth, and the truth will set us free.
It’s Juneteenth today. I have never been aware of this holiday, but it’s something I want to celebrate! Juneteenth commemorates the Union army general Gordan Granger announcing federal orders in the city of Galveston, Texas on June 19th, 1865, proclaiming that all slaves in Texas were now free. Although the Emancipation Proclamation had formally freed them almost 2.5 years earlier, there were still slaves in Texas who had not been freed. Texas was the first state to make this a holiday, and it has also been called Jubilee day. What a beautiful thing to celebrate... freedom. I know we are a LONG way off from people of color experiencing the full benefit of freedom in this country, but today I am celebrating the freedom that I believe Jesus wants to give all of us. I’m celebrating the hope and light I see in all the darkness as I and so many others like me are waking up to the lack of freedom people of color have had in this country. I’ll continue walking forward and learning how to love my neighbors better. The truth will set us free.
